Third Time, But No Lucky Charm

If you wonder what it feels like to lose three World Cup finals and, most importantly, the LAST World Cup final ever, go ahead and ask the Dutch. They did put on a wonderful display of kick-boxingFatality!, though, something we hadn't seen in almost 4 years"Prendere questa, mascalzone!".

The match was rather unimpressive, with only a few incredible chances missed by Dutch striker Arjen Robben"I missed! I missed! Mama will be so proud of me!", an example of how you can go from zero to...well, zero, since only goal scorers achieve the hero status. Bummer.

The only notable events were the occasional physical interventions and, more preeminently, Jimmy Jump's attemptYeah, that's right, put that anti-racism jerk down to the ground. to hide that horrible, horrible FIFA trophy underneath one of his trademark red hats. A heroic deed"I'm Jesus", were it to succeed, for only a few trophies resemble something a caveman would use for a club. As always, bad taste prevailed and he was stopped within inches from achieving his goal. What a shame.

So there we have it - a controversial World Cup edition draws to an end, as Spain becomes the last sucker* champion of the world.

*American spelling of 'soccer'

The Last FIFA World Cup Final - Paul vs. Mani

This is it, folks, the last FIFA World Cup final before the likely dissolution of the world into ether in 2012. Spain and Holland will meet today in their last chance ever to become world champions. But I'm sure the footballers are all aware of this and realize what's at stake here. No pressure, OK, guys?

In related news, the battle of animal psychics is on! Apparently, two of today's greatest oracles, Paul the octopus and Mani the parakeet have predicted an entirely different outcome of today's match. While Paul's money is on the European champion, Spain, Mani, a big fan of A Clockwork Orange, is expecting to see a clear win from the Netherlands.

Personally, I'll have to go with Mani with this one - the little guy has a more Mayan name than Paul. And when it comes to prophecies, that's pedigree. Moreover, according to his master, the bird has an almost spotless record of accuracy. Pretty kick-ass.

I don't even want to begin imagining the amount of work in Amsterdam's OD sections if they win tonight.